KEEP HIM IN YOUR BACK POCKET
Updated: Sep 20, 2021
Author: Makenna Horn
It was the day that I was dreading - move out day. It seemed like so many things in life had been crumbling all around me, and financial health was no exception. Having to move out of the first home that my husband and I had built was not at all what I had imagined for our little family. It was deeply painful. I had dreams of continuing to grow our family in that home. I imagined watching the kids play in the yard that overlooked the grassy field. The house was small, but it was perfect for us. Life had different plans, however. As we packed up the rest of our boxes, we found ourselves saying goodbye to the dreams we once held and grasping for strength to carry us through the journey ahead.
We moved into our new apartment, determined to make the best of the season of life we were in. To be honest, I was just thankful we could even afford to live in that apartment. I was thankful for anything. The road was rough, however, and our finances kept wavering. At times, it seemed like my heart was wavering, too. It was rolling up and down, riding the waves of the process. We had it in our minds that we would be there for just a year. God would do something incredible, and we’d be in our next home. Yet, years later - through many tears, healing, life, and loss, there we still were. We had yet to see the fulfillment of the promises we were believing for.
The journey from the seed of a promise to the flower of a promise is not for the faint of heart. Believing for a promise can feel just like a seed muddied up in the dirt. Sometimes it feels like the seed is buried, and other times it is evident that some fertilizing is taking place. Sometimes it feels as if growth is stunted, and other times it feels as if exponential growth has occurred all at once!
At my lowest point, God spoke promises to me about the redemption of our finances and about a home for our family one day. I prayed and prayed, believing that my current circumstances wouldn’t last forever. I hung onto hope with a white-knuckled fist and refused to let go. Prayer drives became my lifeline. I prayed when it felt impossible. I prayed when the debt collectors wouldn’t stop calling. I prayed when we went on food stamps, feeling utterly defeated but knowing it was only temporary. I prayed when I couldn’t see above the waves. And - finally - I praised when I saw a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel! Three years of apartment living later, we were able to move into the perfect home for our family!
It wasn’t without a fight that the promise of seeing our home redeemed came to pass. That’s the thing about hope - sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped up in a pretty package with a sparkling bow. Sometimes hope looks like a tear-stained jacket and believing God despite our disappointment. Sometimes hope looks like feeling the weight of defeat and bringing it to the feet of Jesus, knowing He has done the miraculous before, and He’ll do it again.
Maybe hope doesn’t have to look “put together.” Maybe hope is the unraveling of our hearts before Jesus as we share our honest thoughts with Him and leave them at His feet. Maybe hope is fully trusting that He hears us. That He sits with us in our pain, and that He has a plan of rescue.
The journey of believing God for a home was long and dreadful at times, but it built a strength inside of me that’s simply irreplaceable. The beauty of going through hard things with Jesus is that He has this incredible way of taking our pain and turning it into strength. This is strength that humans cannot build. It is a strength that is only built by walking hand in hand with Jesus through the hard, the beautiful, and the ugly.
There were moments that hope was the road sign in front of me telling me to keep going. There were other times that hope felt like a distant friend - that friend I often forgot to call but felt so refreshed when I did. But no matter where I was on the journey, I always tried to keep hope in my back pocket. I never let hope get too far away, constantly reminding myself that God is faithful. Nothing is too hard, too big, or too much of an ask for God. We are His treasured ones, the delights of His heart.
Can I give you a little tip I hold close to my heart? Pray specifically, and pray big! We have a big God who loves to show His goodness in the right time. So if you’re believing for a home, a car, or breakthrough in your finances in general, get specific! It is so fun to see how much God cares about the details. Nothing is too big for Him, but neither is anything too small! God loves to give good gifts. He doesn’t have to, but He does!
Importantly, the the only thing that truly fulfills us in life is knowing another layer and depth of God’s heart. The promise fulfilled is beautiful, and it will bring joy. But there is nothing that compares to walking alongside Jesus in the ups and downs of life. He is the prize, our hearts greatest desire. So whatever you are believing for in your season of life, I encourage you with this: HE is the faithful one. Rest in the fact that He cares about every detail of your life, and He will strengthen you along the way as long as you let Him. With hope as our lifeline - our ever present anchor to strength - we can conquer anything through Jesus!
Three years later, and I got to write “REDEEMED” in the wet cement of our driveway. It is a constant reminder of the fight it took to get here, the speed bumps and road blocks overcome. If I could shout it from the rooftops I would: HE IS FAITHFUL! HE IS FAITHFUL! HE IS FAITHFUL! Keep going, keep believing, and get specific with God. Let talking with Jesus become second nature and part of your daily rhythm.
Prayer: We trust you today, Jesus. You are with us in the pain, and you are with us in the promise. We choose to get honest before you and to allow you into the deepest places of our hearts. Thank you that you hear us, and thank you that you have good gifts for us! We trust you with our deepest desires, and we declare that you are faithful! Amen.
The Anchor: Hebrews 12:1-2 (AMP) Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who by faith have testified to the truth of God’s absolute faithfulness], stripping off every unnecessary weight and the sin which so easily and cleverly entangles us, let us run with endurance and active persistence the race that is set before us, [looking away from all that will distract us and] focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith [the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity], who for the joy [of accomplishing the goal] set before Him endured the cross, disregarding the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God [revealing His deity, His authority, and the completion of His work].